GENUINE COURT TRANSCRIPT...
Question: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Answer: No.
Question: Did you check for blood pressure?
Answer: No.
Question: Did you check for breathing?
Answer: No.
Question: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Answer: No.
Question: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Answer: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Question: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
Answer: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
In Massachusetts, during the month of April, all dogs are required to have their hind legs tied.
A man was walking his friend's dog when he noticed a tennis ball wrapped in duct tape sitting in the grass. The man plays with the ball, wondering why it is wrapped, but then decides to use it to play fetch. The man and dog play fetch with the ball several times when suddenly it explodes. Unfortunately, the blast does not kill the dog and it suffers, despite pleas from bystanders to have the police shoot it (they are not allowed to do that, by the way). Finally and mercifully, a vet arrives and puts the dog to sleep. The owner of the dog is distraught and overcome with emotion.
Sound silly? It is ridiculous, but it's also VERY true.
On November 25, 2000, the above scenario actually took place. Now, I had my doubts, so I checked around and was able to find instructions on how to build these types of bombs. The writer usually has a small disclaimer that supposedly relinquishes responsibility.
If you ever see a tennis ball wrapped in duct tape lying on a lawn somewhere, do not touch it and call the authorities. You might end up looking silly, but better safe than sorry. Explosives created in this manner are dangerous, illegal, and completely unpredictable. If you know someone who is making these things, call the police. You might save a life!
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