NEW YORK - A 22-year-old New York man allegedly called the Colonie City police station five times hoping to hire a companion for the night. The man supposedly confused the police department phone number with an ad in a personals column. After he called back the fifth time, the female operator decided to let the man fulfill his wishes. The two agreed to meet at a hotel, but when the suspect got there, police were waiting and arrested him for soliciting sex. One would think the man would comprehend that it was not an escort service when the woman answered, "Colonie Police Department, how may I help you?

CHISINAU, Moldova - Everyone knows that all meat is not of the same freshness and quality, but imagine if the meat you purchased for Sunday dinner turned out to be human flesh. Police have arrested two women in the former Soviet Republic of Moldova for selling human flesh outside a butcher's shop. Tests confirmed that the supposed meat was indeed human flesh, and the two were officially charged with selling outlawed meat. In order to avoid public panic, police waited until the test results were announced to give a statement about the arrest. Where is Hannibal Lecter when you need him?

BREMEN, Germany - All the kings nurses and all the king's surgeons, tried to put a German man's leg back together again. A man, from Bremen, Germany, who was run over by a train, had his left foot sewn onto his right leg in a miracle of surgery to leave him with one complete limb. Doctors amputated the unharmed left foot and attached to the uninjured right leg. The remainder of his left leg was smashed to pieces and his right foot was crushed in the accident.

NEW YORK, NY - No tiny print personal ads for one Big Apple bachelor looking for his perfect mate. He's taken out a super-sized ad on a billboard that features his face and the qualities he requires in a woman. [I would guess the ability to read fineprint is not among those qualities. Do you think he's trying to compensate for something with this ad?]

MNOGOVODNOYE, Ukraine - This story in no bull! An estimated total of one hundred liters of bull's sperm has been reported stolen in Ukraine. Officials say the tank was taken from an artificial insemination station at a dairy in Mnogovodnoye and the genetically pure content could be sold for a large profit.[With no sperm, no wonder why there are so many "Madcows" over there.]

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