In order not to be identified by his clothing, a North Carolina bank robber stripped to his underwear and shoved a large wad of cash inside them. He was later "debriefed" when someone reported a man with strangely bulging underwear running down the street.

A man with dreams of being a pizza delivery boy was arrested after going knocking on the doors of an apartment complex wearing nothing but a baseball hat. The man was caught while trying to jump over a fence and was booked in thirty minutes or less.

Louis Abright had the bright idea of robbing a branch of a local bank in Lafayette, Louisiana with his head covered in whipped cream. By the time he demanded the money from the teller, his mask had melted and the police arrived lickity spilt.

An immigration officer stopped a truck filled with illegal aliens and asked if anyone spoke English. When they all said no, he told them he was going to shoot them all, starting with the ones with brown shoes. As he drew his pistol, three men stepped forward and took the role of translator for the group.

TAIWAN - A Taiwanese woman learned the hard way of how not to reach out to touch someone. Doctors at the Taipei Medical University hospital had to surgically remove a Nokia cell phone from the 20-year-old's rectum after it became stuck there during a bizarre sex game with her boyfriend. Hospital staffers speculated that the phone was used as a stimulatory device because of its vibrating feature.

WOODBINE, New Jersey - A New Jersey man became the "butt" of a bad practical joke after being shot to death during a party at his home. Anthony Saduk Jr., 29, and his roommate, Wesley Geisinger, 31, were reportedly hosting a party at their home on Freemont Avenue when Saduk loaded a muzzleloader rifle with cigarette butts and paper towel wadding. Saduk aimed and fired the rifle at Geisinger, who was standing nearby, and he was hit in the chest. Geisinger collapsed and was later pronounced dead at the scene. Autopsy reports show that three cigarette butts had penetrated his rib cage directly above his heart, causing his death. Saduk has been charged with aggravated manslaughter, in addition to two counts of aggravated assault in connection with another incident at the party where he shot at Geisinger and Joseph Johnson, 32, with a .44-caliber muzzleloader pistol loaded with gunpowder.

Paderborn, Germany - Peter Howeler has been dubbed the *Bungling Bandit* after entering a bank carrying a pistol. In his attempt to hide it from the guard on duty, he shoved the firearm into his back pocket, discharging it into his left buttock. After being rushed to a local hospital, he was later charged with attempted robbery.

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