AIREDALE, Yorkshire - A Yorkshire bank denied putting a gun club in a compromising position due to its vulgar name. The members of The Cock, Ball, Nipple and Touchhole Club were shocked when their eight-year-old bank account was shut down when it went just slightly overdrawn and thought it was because of their rude-sounding name. Bank officials claim it was closed simply because it was overdrawn and "was in no way influenced by the group's name or its activities." Despite how it can be interpreted, the terms cock, ball, nipple and touchhole are all parts on an antique rifle, although members admit that some people do assume they are an 'adult' organization.

CHRISTCHURCH PARK, Ipswich - Apparently being hit by "fowls" does not only happen at baseball stadiums anymore. A 47-year old woman had her tongue knocked down her throat when a flying goose hit her in the face as it took off from a pond. Luckily, a trained first-aider was near by and raced to help the injured woman as she lay on the ground. She had swallowed her tongue and stopped breathing, but he managed to revive her as another passer by called an ambulance and is now reportedly recovering at her home.

MUSKEGON HEIGHTS, Michigan - Apparently Domino's Pizza delivery drivers don't deliver everything. The driver told police he went to apartment building, not realizing the food order was for the rear apartment and knocked on the door of the front apartment. A woman who appeared to be intoxicated or high on drugs reportedly came out of the apartment and offered to perform a sex act for the food. As he tried to pull away to get back to his car, the woman bit him on the arm, then climbed through his window and allegedly grabbed his crotch several times. Somehow, the woman wound up with the food and 20-ounce pop that had been on the car's front seat. The delivery driver later went to a local hospital for a tetanus shot.

LOS ANGELES - Twice the size equals twice the fare according to a judge in Los Angeles. The ruling came after Cynthia Luther, who weighs more than 300 pounds, alleged that Southwest harassed and discriminated against her in May before she boarded a flight from Reno to Burbank. According to the lawsuit, Luther was asked if she needed a seat belt extension, then was told to buy a second ticket "so as not to inconvenience other passengers seated next to her." A friend bought the extra ticket, but Luther sat in one seat with the armrest down. Superior Court Judge Marilyn Hoffman said the airline's policy wasn't discriminatory and is aimed at situations that "might significantly encroach on another passenger."

SAGINAW, Michigan - Reading directions would have been helpful for a thief who robbed a restaurant in Saginaw, Michigan. The would be robber failed to escape after he pushed with all of his might on a door that was clearly marked "pull." According to police, the man eventually discovered his mistake, but it was already too late.

SWAZILAND - An unusual "astral" event occurred in Swaziland when a group of 50 women tried to 'moon' Prince Maguga, King Mswati III's brother. The women were attempting to rally fellow countrymen to protest against what they claimed was a brutal and autocratic government. The King and Prince's uncle, Ncutfu Mongomezulu, said that their bare bottoms is a potent curse on his nephews, adding that they would need to cleanse them using an African root to remove the magic. He also threatened to use a potion to send the women into a deep sleep.

LAKELAND, Florida - Getting a nick or a scratch at the barber is a risk everybody faces, but Charles Gibson was not expecting to have his thumb bitten off when he sat down to have his hair cut by Charles Smith. "He looked all hyped up like he was high," said Gibson, "I told him, 'That's OK, I'll get my hair cut by somebody else.' That's when he revolted." When Gibson refused to pay $5 for the haircut Smith attacked him with a razor and then chewed his thumb off. Doctors were unable to reattach Gibson's right thumb.

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