SAN PEDRO CUTUD, Philippines - Some people will do anything to move closer to God. Bus driver Chito Sangalang had a unique idea. On Good Friday, he dressed up like Jesus and performed a special penance ritual. He had people nail him to a cross. After several minutes, Sangalang was rushed to a local hospital to attend to his newly created stigmata.

ASHLAND, Massachusetts - When emergency technicians found the the body of a 39-year-old woman slumped in a bathtub next to an empty bottle of sleeping pills, they assumed she was dead. So did funeral director John Matarese to whom the apparent corpse was delivered in a body bag. He revised his assessment when he heard gurgling noises coming from the bag. "It scared me half to death," he said. "The girl was alive." Police and emergency technicians were unable to detect any signs of life when they found the woman three and a half hours earlier. She apparently overdosed on pills, police said. The state Department of Public Health is investigating to determine whether emergency workers acted roperly.

WASHINGTON - Richard Weaver made news when he waltzed through security at George W. Bush's inauguration party to shake hands with the newly minted president. Now, in an interview from his Sacramento home, Weaver tells reporters that he was delivering a message from God and was granted a mystical ability to pass undetected. "I see it as a miracle," said the self-proclaimed Christian minister. "I believe God makes me invisible to the security." Capitol Police said that the trespasser at Bush's inauguration also pulled a similar stunt at President Clinton's second inauguration in 1997.

JASPER, Indiana - In an incredible coincidence of timing, a fleeing burglar took a giant leap of faith and landed right in the long arms of the law, literally. Trent Carie, 21, was inside the Main Street Restaurant & Bar when a passing police officer spotted him and suspected a robbery was underway. According to Sgt. Mike Fowler, Carie ran from the store and jumped over a tall fence only to land in the arms of another officer and a trooper who had just arrived at the scene. Carie is believed to be the culprit of at least a dozen burglaries of several businesses in the area in recent weeks.

ALABAMA - A group of amorous barnyard animals have really gotten the goat of an irate Alabama woman. Queenie Hollon is trying to get the city of Prattville to bring in the law because neighbor Horace Smith's amorous goats keep her up all night. Smith doesn't feel that the goats are not causing problems and are very helpful with the upkeep of his lawn. City politicians are drawing up a new rule to cover noise made by all animals after a vote to outlaw goats in the city limits fell short by one vote.

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - Okay folks, this is truly weird. Alexandro Orozco, 48, came home one evening after a night out and caught his wife *cheating* on him. But instead of finding her in the passionate embrace of another man, his wife was moaning to the self imposed pleasure of a recently purchased vibrator. Orozco became enraged and strangled his wife. He is seeking leniency for the murder because of her *infidelity.*

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